Wanting something you cannot have
by xomamx
Summary: Derek is marrying Rose,but is still in love with Meredith. Meredith is the MOH. What will happen between Meredith nd Derek? Will their relationship end forever or will Derek leave Rose for her? R
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! This is our first fic together (: I hope you really like it! R&R! 3**

"Oh my god this is the dress!" Rose exclaimed. They had been to 5 different bridal shops in the past day and Rose had tried on 10 other dresses in this store. Meredith was sitting on the couch trying to act excited for Rose.

'This should be me' Meredith thought. Why was Derek marrying Rose instead of her? 'We had so much more chemistry and history together.' She loved the dress Rose picked, she really did, but she wanted to be the one marrying him.

"I can't believe I'm actually getting married to my dream guy!" Rose said while trying on veils.

Meredith smiled at her, "Yeah! You are a lucky girl." She put on the best smile she could possibly form.

"You know what?" Rose said, "I am the luckiest girl alive!" She went back to the room to get her dress fitted.

Christina turned to Meredith and laughed "Mchorseface is such a mcdork!"

Meredith laughed "you are such a jerk! I would be so excited if I was marrying him." Meredith suddenly remembered when she found out about Derek and Rose getting married.

_Flashback:_

_Meredith was sitting at the usual lunch table when she suddenly noticed Rose running into the cafeteria to her. "What is it Rose?" Christina barked at her. Rose threw her a dirty look. _

"_DEREK PROPSED!!!!" Rose shouted out of breathe. _

"_w-w-w-what?" Meredith shuttered. Her eyes were popping out of her head and her jaw was almost at her feet._

"_we're getting married!" rose said excitedly "goodness! I thought you would be happier for me since YOU'RE MY MADE OF HONOR!"_

_Meredith's jaw dropped even lower "oh my gosh. Congratulations." She said with a fake smile. "and I'm so happy to be your made of honor."_

End Flashback.

"DUDE! Mchorsefce is coming over you better stop thinking about McDreamy" Christina said while nudging her.

"I wasn't." She murmured. All conversation stopped because Rose walked over.

"Okay, so since you two are the best bridesmaids I am going to treat you to lunch!" Rose said.

"uh, okay." Christina said. Even though she didn't like Rose, she liked free meals.

"I guess I can't pass that up." Meredith agreed. They all walked out of the store and walked to a small café on the corner.

_________

"Hey beautiful." Derek popped out in front of Meredith and was startled to see his fiancé there.

"Hi honey. We didn't expect to see you here!" Rose gave Derek a kiss on the cheek. "why don't you join us for lunch?" Meredith was startled at this comment and didn't know what to say.

"That would be great!" Derek smiled his McDreamy smile. "As long as your lovely friends don't mind."

"Oh, we don't mind at all!" Christina said smiling evilly before Meredith could decline.

They all walked to the restaurant and got seated. Derek sat right in between Meredith and Rose. "Well, what a wonderful surprise" Meredith whispered so Rose couldn't hear. Derek just smiled and Christina stepped on Meredith's foot.

"So," he said "did you pick out a dress today?" he wanted to see the dress but knew Rose thought it was bad luck.

"Yes we did, but you're not going to see it until the doors of that church open and I am walking down the isle." Derek rolled his eyes and looked at the menu. The waitress came and they all got their food. That is when things got awkward.

"So, how are you two lovebirds dealing with all this wedding stuff?" Christina asked hoping to get Meredith angry. Meredith kicked Christina under the table knowing she did it on purpose.

"OW!" Rose said. "Who kicked me?!" Meredith's faced turned bright red with embarrassment.

"Oh! Sorry hunny I did it by accident." Derek said covering for Meredith.

"It's okay babe!" Rose leaned and kissed Derek on the lips. Meredith held her head in her hands looking down.

Flashback:

"_I love you, Mere!" Derek leaned in to kiss her again. "I never want to be with anyone else."_

"_I love you to Derek." Meredith was so satisfied with what they had just done. _

"_I'm so gad you picked me Mere." He tucked her hair behind her head and kissed her passionately sliding his tongue into her mouth._

End Flashback

Meredith snapped out of her trance when her pager began going off. "I have to go guys it's a 911!" Meredith said relieved. "See you later."

"Wait we drover here all together, though." Rose said as Meredith was getting up.

"I'll just catch a cab!" Meredith called to her while hurrying out of the restaurant.

"Of course she gets the call." Christina murmured under her breathe so neither of them could here her.

As soon as Meredith was out of sight Derek knew he wanted to catch up to her, but he didn't know how to get away. He said the first thing that popped into his mind. "Oh, look at the time. I forgot all about my surgery in an hour. I have to go and prepare." He gave rose a quick kiss goodbye and ran out of the restaurant so neither of them could say anything.

"Of course, now I'm stuck with Mchorseface!" Christina murmured. She rolled her eyes knowing Derek just wanted to see Meredith. Rose sat there completely clueless of everything

______

"Meredith, wait!" Derek yelled. A big grin came over her face.

"What?" she asked acting all pissed.

"I thought maybe you could use a ride. Cabs are overpriced and take too long, anyway." He smiled. "Plus we never got a chance to talk about me and Rose."

**A/N: hi guys I hope you enjoyed this chapter (: Let us know if you want to keep writing! We want any kind of feedback! Tell us your opinion((: ((= **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

"Well, that is nice of you but I am in a hurry. No time for chit-chat." Meredith barked at him.

"Mere, we're going to the same place. Come on just let me give you a ride." He said. "It will be faster." Meredith rolled her eyes and gave in. She knew he wouldn't take no for an answer.

____

They walked to the car and were off to the hospital. "So," Derek broke the silence. He noticed that Meredith was looking out the window avoiding him at all circumstances. "Will you at least look at me, Mere?" He was very annoyed by now. "You didn't look at me all lunch, and when I tried to sit next to you, you made a comment under your breathe."

She turned her head and looked him straight in the eye. She wanted to say: 'I want to look at you and know everything is going to be alright and that I'm the one you want to be with forever. NOT ROSE!' but she knew she couldn't.

"What do you want, Der?" she asked. By this time Meredith was really pissed off.

"I want you to look me in the eye and talk to me." Derek said getting angry.

"Okay, I will." She said. "You always said hey beautiful to ME, Derek! Not Rose. If you want say that to her go right ahead, but watch around me because I… never mind." She said. She wanted to say she was in love with him, but she couldn't find the right words.

Derek took a deep breathe. He was going to tell her that wasn't to Rose. "I don't say 'hey beautiful' to Rose. I never did, I never will." He said under his breathe. "I can't, that is all for you. Always has been, always will be." Meredith's heart pounded almost out of her chest. She wanted to lean in and kiss him, but she couldn't. She was too taken back all she could do was smile.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, but no one thought it was an awkward silence. Meredith caught Derek occasionally looking over at her. "Thanks for the ride Derek. I appreciate it, but I think I missed the 911." Meredith said while closing the door. She ran into the ER and saw Christina sitting there.

"Wow, what took you so long?" Christina asked. "Don't tell me you went off with McDreamy and did the Coasty." Meredith blushed and looked away. "I take that as a yes. Well, McDeamy took the long route. You missed the 911! Ha-ha I got to take it!

"No he just offered me a ride to the hospital and he must have driven slowly." Meredith ran up to the locker room to get changed avoiding Derek and Rose at the nurse's station.

At the nurse's station:

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for your surgery?" Rose asked. She was starting to wonder if he really had one since he came in at the same time as Meredith.

"Uh, I should but it got canceled." Derek said relieved. "I was really looking forward to it, too."

"Aw, its okay baby." Rose said comforting him. "I have a question about today. You said hey beautiful to me, right?

Derek was startled. "Yes, of course. Who else would I say it to? You are the most beautiful person I know." He didn't want to lie to his fiancé but he knew he had to make her feel good. Right then Derek noticed Meredith walking by with her head down.

"Dr. Grey! You are under my service today. Bailey just told me." He didn't want Rose to know he requested Meredith. "Let's go check up on my patients." Meredith took a deep breathe, rolled her eyes and walked with Derek.

While they were walking away Derek and Meredith heard Rose's faint voice. "We will finish this conversation later. I love you!" Derek put his hand up showing he heard her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

It's been a couple of months now and Meredith and Derek have gotten very close as friends. Meredith learned to be a better MOH and not let Derek get in the way, even though she still and always will love him.

"Christina! The bachlorette party is in a week and I need to get these invitations out!" Meredith barked to Christina. "We can't have a bachlorette party with just our friends, none of Rose's!"

"Does McHorseface even have friends?" Christina laughed. Meredith rolled her eyes trying to hold back her laughter even though she thought it was hilarious.

"Yes, she has friends, what do you think she does when she's not working or with Derek? Plus I want to be a good MOH. I don't even know why I am her MOH." Meredith said.

"She's always with Derek, isn't she?" Christina asked. Meredith didn't know what to say. Her pager suddenly went off.

"Oh! Look at that, I got to go! See you later." Meredith said while running away. She didn't want to tell Christina that Derek was paging her. "Hey Derek, what's up?"

Derek smiled "Want to go get some lunch?"

"Okay, but couldn't you have just met me in the cafeteria."

"Well, since the wedding is next week we can say we have some preparing for it to do. Like a surprise for Rose or something as an excuse to go out and get something." Meredith could definitely tell Derek was flirting with her, but she didn't care even though she knew it was wrong.

"That would be great! Meet me in the lobby in 10 minutes; I'm going to get changed." Meredith ran up to the locker room and got changed as fast as she could. As she was running out of the locker room she ran into Rose.

"Hey, where are you going, and have you seen Derek?" Rose asked. Meredith's eyes lit up.

"I am going out to lunch, and no haven't seen him around." Meredith quickly ran away so Rose couldn't say anything else. As she was running she heard Rose's voice in the distance.

"well if you see him tell him I need to see him PRONTO!" Meredith rolled her eyes and slowed down as soon as she saw Derek.

"Let's go to that café we went to when Rose got her dress." They left the hospital and drove to the little café about 15 minutes away.

"Oh my gosh! I forgot to tell you that Rose wanted to see you pronto." Meredith said while rolling her eyes.

"Wedding stress." He rolled his eyes too.

Meredith and Derek finished lunch and got in the car to go back to the hospital. The whole ride to the hospital Meredith and Derek sat in silence. Derek and Meredith just sat there smiling thinking about each other.

Back at the hospital Rose caught Meredith and Derek walking in together laughing and smiling. Rose stormed up to them

"Derek where have you been, I've been looking for you all day!" Rose screamed

Derek looked at Meredith who looked to the ground "I was out with Mark and he got paged and I ran into Meredith and I gave her a ride back to the hospital"

Rose gave Meredith a dirty look, "leave, NOW"

Meredith was taken aback by what Rose said, she looked at Derek and walked away, Derek not taking his eyes off of Meredith as she walked away.

"What's going on with you Derek? You have been avoiding me for the last couple of weeks?" Rose asked angrily

"I can't talk now, I have to go, bye" Derek walked away and kissed Rose on the cheek

Derek went and found Meredith in the locker room getting changed into her scrubs with tears.

Derek walked over to Meredith. "Mere, I'm sorry; Rose was a bitch to you"

"Derek you can't do this, you are not my boyfriend anymore, you're getting MARRIED to Rose" Meredith said tears streaming down her face at this point.

Derek's face dropped to a frown and walked over to Meredith and wiped her tears with his thumbs "Meredith you are my best friend, I will always look after; I'm getting married to Rose but it doesn't mean it should ruin our relationship"

Meredith paused "Yes it does Derek. You chose her over me, just like you chose Addison over me, I'm always your second choice and you're always my first."

"Mere-"Derek said taking her hand.

Meredith pulled away "NO!" and stormed out of the room

Derek sat down on the bench and put his head into his hands.

**What's going to happen between MerDer. R&R!!!! Hope you like it 3 Meredith and Kelsey **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Meredith and Christina were setting Joe's Bar up for Rose's Bachelorette party.

"Chris, can you finish setting up while I go pick up Rose?" Meredith asked

Christina rolled her eyes. "Yup"

Meredith arrived at Rose's apartment. She walked up to the apartment and knocked on the door; Derek answered, and looked at Meredith. He wanted to say 'you look beautiful'

"H-Hi, is Rose ready?" Meredith asked stuttering

"Almost, come in" Meredith walked in the apartment. "Mere, look at me, talk to me"

Meredith looked at Derek with an angry expression. "What Derek!" Meredith yelled softly

"I want things to go back to normal between us" Derek explained

Meredith rolled her eyes "It can't Derek, you're getting married to someone else" at this point tears were streaming down. Just then they herd Rose leaving her room. Meredith wiped her tears away and turned from Derek.

"Hey Mere" Rose exclaimed

"Hey, ready to go?" Meredith asked softly

Rose looked at her. "You OK?"

"Yea just tired. Let's go" Meredith and Rose walked out the house, Rose kissed Derek and Meredith flinched. Derek saw the pain in her face and pulled away.

___________

At the bachelorette party Meredith was up at the bar getting a drink as she got a text from Derek.

_Derek: come to the trailer tonight….please!!!_

_Meredith: why?_

_Derek: I need to talk to you…please come Mere _

_Meredith: I don't know, maybe_

_Derek: I'll be waiting _

Just then Rose walked but behind her. "Who ya textin?" Rose said drunk

"Ahh, no one special" Meredith said fake smiling

"Ohh, Meredith's got a crush" Rose chuckled

Meredith rolled her eye. She wanted to say 'not a crush, the love of my life, your fiancé' but she said "Yea sure" and walked away.

The rest of the night Meredith watched everyone get drunk. She didn't want to be drunk when she went to see Derek; she wanted her mind clear of everything.

The night was over and she had Christina take Rose home. She drove to Derek's house. When she got there she saw him sitting outside waiting for her; she walked up to him and he stood.

"Mere, you came!" Derek said giving here the McDreamy smile

"Yup. So what do you want to talk about?" Meredith asked looking at the ground. Meredith and Derek walked over and sat on the steps. Derek took Meredith's hands

"Meredith" Derek paused "What has happened to us?"

Mereidth looked at Derek like he had 5 heads. "Nothing!"

"Mere, I know when something's wrong with you"

Meredith shok her head "You wanna know what's wrong? Your MARRING ROSE Derek, NOT me! We were the ones suppose to be getting married, not you and ROSE" Meredith yelled at him. She got up and started to walk away. Derek grabbed her hand before she could and pulled her into his chest. He wrapped his arms around Meredith. Meredith melted into his hug and started to cry.

Derek wiped Meredith's eyes, and kissed the top of her head. IT started to rain and Meredith and Derek got soaked. "You want to come inside" Meredith nodded her head "yes."

When they got inside Derek gave Meredith a pair of his pajam bottoms and one of his shirts. Meredith and Derek both got changed and layed in bed. "Meredith-" Meredith leaned in and kissed him. Derek was taken but didn't pull away instead deepened the kiss.

Then next morning Derek was watching Meredith sleep hoping that they could stay like that forever. Meredith woke up and sat up in the bed.

"W-What did we just do Derek" Meredith stuttered

"Meredith- I love you" Derek said smiling his McDreamy smile

"NO Derek, you're marrying Rose today" Meredith said getting up, running out of the trailer, and driving home to get ready and go to Rose's and Derek's wedding.

**What will happen next? Will Derek Marry Rose?? Read and Review**

**Meredith and Kelsey3**


	5. authors note

**Sorry we haven't updated in FOREVER! I feel really bad. We haven't been together and when we have Kelsey didn't have word !! =[ I PROMISE there will be one soon !!!**

xoxo meredith and kelsey


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5! **

**It's been a while, so just a review! **_Rose and Derek are getting married. Meredith is her MOH but is still in love with Derek. Ummm…… after the Bachlorette party_ _Meredith went to Derek's. here is the end of last chapter:_

Previously on wanting something you cannot have:

Meredith shook her head "You wanna know what's wrong? Your MARRING ROSE Derek, NOT me! We were the ones suppose to be getting married, not you and ROSE" Meredith yelled at him. She got up and started to walk away. Derek grabbed her hand before she could and pulled her into his chest. He wrapped his arms around Meredith. Meredith melted into his hug and started to cry.

Derek wiped Meredith's eyes, and kissed the top of her head. It started to rain and Meredith and Derek got soaked. "You want to come inside" Meredith nodded her head "yes."

When they got inside Derek gave Meredith a pair of his pajama bottoms and one of his shirts. Meredith and Derek both got changed and laid in bed. "Meredith-" Meredith leaned in and kissed him. Derek was taken but didn't pull away instead deepened the kiss.

Then next morning Derek was watching Meredith sleep hoping that they could stay like that forever. Meredith woke up and sat up in the bed.

"W-What did we just do Derek" Meredith stuttered

"Meredith- I love you" Derek said smiling his McDreamy smile

"NO Derek, you're marrying Rose today" Meredith said getting up, running out of the trailer, and driving home to get ready and go to Rose's and Derek's wedding.

_____________

**Okay, Chapter 5/6 because of the authors note(: **

Meredith grabbed her phone and dialed Christina's number.

"Hello?" Christina was woken up by this phone call. "What the hell do you want at 9 in the morning?"

"Well one the wedding is this afternoon and you should probably be waking up by now anyways, so you should be thanking me. Two, I went to Derek's last night because he wanted to clear things out, or whatever and we ended up having sex." By this pointed Meredith was in hysterics. "AND THREE, HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME AND SINCE HE IS MARRYING STUPID MCHORSEFACE AND I AM THE MAID OF HONOR I HAD TO SAY NO AND LEAVE!"

"Whoa. Let me get this straight Mer." Christina had to hold back her laughter because this was all so funny to her, but she didn't want to hurt her best friend. "Derek texted you saying he wanted to clear things up, so you went there after the Bachlorette party and you ended up sleeping with him." Christina caught her breathe. "Then you woke up this morning and he told you he loved you and you ran away like a baby chicken?"

"YES!" Meredith was slowly calming down. "And I cannot see him marry that bitch so—

Meredith was cut off by Christina's laughter. "You finally see the true colors of Rose. Took you long enough."

"Anyways, I need you to tell Rose that I cannot make it and that I told you to take my place as the MOH just to help her get ready, and that she can pick a new maid of honor once the other girls get there.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Christina was a little angry. "I have to assume MOH duties for McHorseface?! In you dreams GREY! I will get there and tell her that you quit and she has to pick a new maid of honor, but I am not being her bitch, she can get ready with her ACTUAL FRIENDS. Capeshe?" Christina was just about to hang up the phone for a dramatic ending, but Meredith stopped her.

"Hold up! I was her actual friend until she--"

"Married the love of you life." Christina interrupted.

"Exactly, but I had to get to her parents house at 10 and help her get ready." Meredith tried to tell Christina. "I needed to go get her dress, go get the bridesmaid dresses, go get the flowers, and all that jazz. She has no one to do that Christina, please just do that, FOR ME? And besides, she doesn't like you anyways PLUS she has a sister that she will assume the duties!"

"BETTER BE TRUE!" Christina hung up the phone.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

**a/n Hope you enjoy this update!!! Let us know your comments and thoughts**

Derek was pacing back and forth in his dressing room, it was an hour until the wedding and he couldn't get Meredith off his mind. Derek groaned "Ughh I can't do this." He picked up his phone and instantly dialed Meredith's number.

* * *

Meredith was sitting in her living room with the TV on but not paying any attention. She was thinking about Derek and what he said. All of a sudden she jumps out of her trance when she hears her cell phone ringing. Without looking who it is she answers her phone.

"Hello?" Meredith answered distracted

"Mere?" Before she could hang up Derek said "Don't please don't hang up"

Meredith took a breathe "What do you need Der?"

"Meredith as my friend I need you to be here please come, I'm scared I'm making a mistake, please Mere I need you as my friend" Derek said begging

There was a long pause "Fine I'll be there as soon as I can"

"Thanks you Meredith" Derek said letting go a breathe he didn't know he was holding

Meredith ran upstairs and got changed for the wedding and put a touch of makeup on within 20 minutes she was at the church.

* * *

When Meredith got to the church she ran into Derek's dressing room before anyone could see her. When Meredith got there Derek was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Meredith walked up to Derek and sat down next to him. She put her hand on his back and rubbed small circles.

Derek looked up and gave Meredith a sad smile. "Thank for coming Mere."

Meredith gave him a smile. "So why did you need me to come?"

"I-I can't d this Mere" Derek stuttered.

Meredith took a deep breathe. "Derek you can do this. Do you love her?"

Derek thought about it "Yea of course I love her, I wouldn't of gone though this if I didn't"

Meredith smiled "Then why can't you do this? Der your just having cold feet. You love Rose and Rose LOVES you, you are going to marry her and be happy for the rest of your life."

Derek looked into Meredith's eyes and gave her a sad smile "Okay"

Meredith gave a sad smile to Derek "I should go take a seat now" Meredith and Derek stud up and Meredith gave Derek a hug and whispered in his ear "You can do this"

Derek smiled "Thanks for coming Mere"

"Any time Der, you know that" Meredith left and went into the church and took a seat in the last row.

* * *

Derek walked into the front of the church with Mark by his side, he immediately found Meredith in the back of the church, their eyes connected and she gave him a smile and winked at him, he winked at her and then the music started.

Christina and Owen were the first to come down the aisle. To follow them was Callie and one of Rose's brothers. After them were Rose's sister and her husband. Then Rose with her dad. Rose didn't notice her which Meredith was thankful for.

Derek was standing at the front of the church with Rose beside him. The minister started with Rose first "Do you Rose Take Derek to be your husband. To have and to hold in sickness and in health, in richer or poorer as long as you both shall live?" Rose smiled at Derek and said "I Do" without any hesitation.

The minister turned to Derek. "Derek do you take Rose to be your wife. To have and to hold, in sickness and health, in richer or poorer, as long as you both live?" Derek looked at Rose "I can't do this Rose, it's not right. I love you but I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with someone else"

Rose's face dropped "What? How could you" Rose stormed out of the church and this time noticed Meredith. "You bitch. Don't ever talk to me again." Then Rose stormed out.

Meredith face dropped. She looked up to Derek who was standing at the front of the church staring at her.

Derek stood up and said "I'm so sorry everyone, obliviously the wedding is off, I'm sorry I wasted your time." Everyone got up and started to leave except Meredith she couldn't move, she got a lot of dirty looks but ignored them.

Derek and Mark were sitting in the front of the church. Mark finally spoke "Dude what happened?"

Derek turned to look at him "I'm not in love with her, I'm in love with Meredith, I always have and always will"

Mark chuckled "then do something about it idiot."

"She won't want to talk to me she doesn't love me she probably hates me now"

Mark shook his head "Man your stupid for a brain surgeon, have you seen the way she looks at you. She loves you man go after her."

At this point Meredith left and was at her house in her pajama's and staring into the TV not paying attention. All of a sudden she hears the doorbell ring. Meredith get up and walks to the door. "Derek?"

**A/N Hope you enjoy it. Leave u reviews. **

**Meredith & Kelsey 33**


	8. CRUCIAL TO THE STORY

Heey! We(as in me) are kinda having writers block, so we want ur help! There is a poll on ur page w. three options. Also, if you pick keep going u can Private Message(PM) us (: ! and if u pick sequel it would not be up right away.

BUT PM US ! EITHER:

1. IF U DON'T LIKE THE CHOICES…OR…

2. KEEP GOING

Remember that the poll is really important to us x3. we just want you to know that we want to make u happy ! we heart you. Si remember to read the description if every option when you vote. ESECIALLY SEQUEL

XOXOXOXOOXOXO,

Meredith

…& Kelsey in spirit.

PS. Private message us just to say hi or any other reason in the poll or just because u despise us! We love messages! That sounded like ONLY FOR THIS SPECIFIC THING MAY U TALK TO ME kinda like some mean teacher would do! Or maybe Kelsey xoxo I love yah kels Hahah she wouldn't… or would she

WANTING SOMETHING YOU CANNOT HAVE X3


End file.
